Edgar Allan Poe to John Allan — 1828-12-01 — reading text

Edgar Allan Poe to John Allan — 1828-12-01 Historical letter date: 1828-12-01. Source edition: Mary Newton Stanard, Edgar Allan Poe Letters Till Now Unpublished, 1925, letter six. This is repository machine OCR of the printed transcription; spelling and recognition errors remain. Consult the accompanying local scan excerpt and manuscript facsimile. [Source scan page 97] LETTER NUMBER SIX Fort Moultrie, Charleston H r December iS 1828. Dear Sir, The letter of Lieut J. Howard left by Ml John O. Lay for your perusal will explain the cause of my writing from Fort Moultrie. Your note addressed to Ml Lay, & inclosed by him to Lieut : Howard was handed over by the latter to myself. In that note what chiefly gave me concern was hearing of your indisposition I can readily see & forgive the suggestion which prompted you to write " he had better remain as he is until the termination of his enliSt- ment." It was perhaps under the impression that a military life was one after my own heart and that it might be possible (although contrary to the Regulations of our Army) to obtain a commission for one who had not received his education at Weft Point, & who, from his age, was excluded that Academy, but I could not help thinking that you believed me degraded & disgraced and that anything were preferable to my returning home & entailing on yourself a portion of my infamy : But at no period of my life, have I regarded myself with a deeper satisfaction, or did my heart swell with more honourable pride. The time may come (if at all it will come speedily) when much that appears of a doubtful 75 [Source scan page 98] 76 EDGAR ALLAN POE LETTERS nature will be explained away, and I shall have no hesita- tion in appearing among my former connections at the present I have no such intention, and nothing short of your absolute commands, should deter me from my purpose. I have been in the American Army as long as suits my ends or my inclination, and it is now time that I should leave it To this effedt I made known my circumstances to Lieut. Howard who promised me my discharge solely upon a reconciliation with yourself In vain I told him that your wishes for me (as your letter assured me) were, and had always been those of a father & that you were ready to forgive even the worSt offences He insisted upon my writing you & that if a recon- ciliation could be effected he would grant me my wish This was advised in the goodness of his heart & with a view of serving me in a double sense He has always been kind to me, and, in many respects, reminds me forcibly of yourself The period of an Enlistment is five years the prime of my life would be waited I shall be driven to more decided measures, if you refuse to assist me. You need not fear for my future prosperity I am altered from what you knew me, & am no longer a boy tossing about on the world without aim or consistency I feel that within me which will make me fulfil your higheft wishes & only beg you to suspend your judgement until you hear of me again. [Source scan page 99] LETTER NUMBER SIX 77 You will perceive that I speak confidently but when did ever Ambition exift or Talent prosper without prior conviction of success? I have thrown myself on the world like the Norman conqueror on the shores of Britain &, by my avowed assurance of victory, have destroyed the fleet which could alone cover my retreat I muffc ^ either conquer or die succeed or be disgraced. A letter addressed to Lieut: J. Howard assuring him of your re-conciliation with myself (which you have never yet refused) & desiring nay discharge would be all that is necessary He is already acquainted with you from report & the high character given of you by Ml Lay. Write me once more if you do really forgive me let me know how my Ma preserves her health, and the concerns of the family since my departure. Pecuniary assistance I do not desire unless of your own free & unbiassed choice I can Struggle with any diffi- culty. My deareffc love to Ma it is only when absent that we can tell the value of such a friend I hope she will not let my wayward disposition wear away the love she used to have for me. Yours respectfully & affectionately Edgar A, Poe (P.S) We are now under orders to sail for old Point Com- fort, and will arrive there before your answer can be received Your address then will be to Lieut : J. Howard, Fortress Monroe, the same for myself.